Is this madness I am experiencing due to the big M, or really, the straw that finally, breaks the camel’s back? I pondered!
Since the weekend, I have been responding to matters in a very intense way, to matters that really are not of my concerns. Then, I must ask, why this intense feeling, as if my life depends on it if I don’t express it clearly. Where is the calm ZEN feeling that I have been practising and enjoying through my yoga practice?
Could it be reading Steve Job’s biography (Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson) has an effect on me? LOL! I am not a music lover, nor am I closed tobeing a technology fan! It took me four months before I learnt how to roll the track wheel on the iPod correctly! I must say, the book is extremely well written; full of North American cultural history from the sixties to present; as well as it projects a neutral report of Steve’s character. Yet, there is something more than I can pinpoint that keeps calling me back to the book. I don’t know what it is.
Knowing perfectionism can drive a person to extremities, I have since learnt and accepted what life has offered, in a contented way, or so I thought I have been very blessed from the beginning;, with my blessed family and friends, and my gift and talent; I really have it easy. So I do understand, when I have to work with people of less fortunate, I count my blessings.
Then, why such ‘BIG’ reaction to such a minor issue? In the corporate world, every now and then, we do come across such bureaucratic administration work? Is it because of my pride at stake? It really doesn’t make sense, for again, I learnt, PRIDE, EGO,cwouldn’t get me anywhere, very far. I wouldn’t even waste my energy to go there. So, why did I want to SCREAM?
WHAT is it so fundamental it rocks my core? WHAT IS IT???
Could this linked back to why I am in such a clutter state of being lately?
Do you ever feel like you want to make a difference? You know you can, if only you have all the credentials, the environment, the resources, ….;
So is this it??????????
Steve knew he could make a difference, and he lived, breathed in his passion until he delivered!
And why I haven’t????????????????????
And this is why I feel so overwhelmed! Why I am so frustrated, why I am so AAAAAAAAAAAARRrrrGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!